I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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