it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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