Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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