Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize