i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize