Where did you get a picture of my penis
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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