I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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