Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize