Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize