sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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