He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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