I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize