Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
