Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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