4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude i'm inner monologue high
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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