the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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