He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
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Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sorry about my life...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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