It's Friday. Sex?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need to align my fucking chakras
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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