What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize