Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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