I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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