it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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