I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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