I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
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I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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