My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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