He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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