Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize