Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
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I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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