She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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