No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
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i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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