sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize