Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
do herpes really smell.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
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I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
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