Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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