yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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