Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize