I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
