so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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