He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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