I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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