U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize