dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize