I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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