chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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