I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize