I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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