I'm so fucking centered right now
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize