just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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