the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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