9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize