I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
