you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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