he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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